Thursday, March 11, 2010

Stay-at-Home Dads: The NEW American Hero

Dude. Who ARE these stay-at-home dads who are reading my blog?

And why do I have a major CRUSH on all of them???

Let me say this: Any guy who can pull off the stay-at-home dad thing is HOT. I don't care what he looks like, or how adequately or inadequately he performs his duties. There is something absolutely irresistible about a guy who is comfortable taking on this historically "female" role in this day and age.

It's hard enough, as a woman, to give up a paying job in order to take care of the kids. We have to endure the condescending tone of working women who assume we are high school drop-outs; we have to feel like teenagers on an allowance when spending our "husband's" money; we have to look at ourselves in the mirror each morning and wonder what the HECK we are doing with our lives.

But at least we have biology, and tradition, on our side.

For the guys-- GOODNESS-- it must be an exponentially steeper climb. All of those ancient stereotypes about Man as breadwinner, hunter, warrior... well, those all have to be hugely revised when the guy has a burp cloth over his shoulder. (Again, HOT HOT HOT.) Not only do they have to learn, presumably, an entirely new skill set (not a ton of guys were babysitters as adolescents, I would guess), but they have to deal with the same patronizing glares that we do, ONLY MULTIPLIED BY A ZILLION. Being constantly subjected to ignorant people's snap judgments of the stay-at-home dad-- What, are you too lazy to get a job? You're ok with having your WIFE support you? Do you watch football all day while the poor kids are left to their own devices?-- must be a HUGE FREAKING HEADACHE. And yet these guys seem so cool with it. How do I get ME some of that mojo?

I ran in the same circles as a stay-at-home dad once. His name was Eric. He was, inarguably, adorable. And what's more, he was always pretty relaxed. Sure, he would momentarily lose a child once in a while, and maybe his kids weren't quite as decorated as some of us hair-accessory-prone moms might have liked, but he was getting that sh*t done. Three kids. Working wife. Functioning household. I occasionally fantasized about being seduced by him (as did, I have to assume, EVERY OTHER MOMMY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD). In fact, part of me thinks that the adoration of his female admirers is what made him so good at his job: he didn't want to disappoint a loyal fan base. And who can blame him. Ah, the hidden bonus of the stay-at-home daddy job: LOTS of desperate housewives.

So to all of you stay-at-home dads out there, bravo. Knowing how hard it is being a SAHM, I can't begin to imagine the depths of crap you have to put up with as a SAHD. Thanks for paving the way for future generations of righteous working women.

We salute you. And we fantasize about you. Keep up the good work.


  1. I just want to tell you that I think your blog is fantastic. I'm not a mom, yet...but I hope to be one someday. I love hearing about your adventures with your girls and all of the crazy stories that come with being a mom.

    Alex sent me the link to your blog a few weeks ago and I can't get enough of it. You are hilarious.

  2. Actually, the patronizing stares are somewhat mitigated by playing the Daddy card - you can get away with doing things quickly or creatively, whereas a woman seems more lazy or inept doing the same thing.
    On the other hand, I think men get an extra layer of nagging that mothers don't get (has your husband ever complained that you dressed the girls wrong stylistically, or should have combed the hair differently?)

  3. So you might enjoy this stay-at-home-dad's blog:

  4. My hubby's dream is to be a stay at home dad, lol.. He would be good at it too! I do think the adoring desperate housewives bit helps though! haha

  5. Eric was the first one who put my girls on a bike and taught them to hit a baseball. He's a gem & I miss him on our block.


  6. MWAD: Thanks for the shout-out. The truth is that we stay-at-home-dads think you stay-at-home-moms are pretty hot, too, especially after we get that inside-baseball glimpse of what you go through every day. I don't care what stockbrokers or machine fitters say; being a stay-at-home-parent is the most challenging (yet rewarding) job there is.