Friday, June 18, 2010

Guess the Baby Face Couldn't Last Forever...

Well, it finally happened.

I was checking my reflection in the overhead visor of my car today when I spotted it.

My first gray hair. Right near my temple. Glistening in the sunlight. I was tempted to yank it, but I decided to leave it there. Still not sure why. I think it's because I love to torture myself?

Now I know that, for many of you, this is not big news. Some of you have been dealing with gray hairs for a while now, and from you, I don't expect sympathy.

But I am a newcomer to this world of old lady follicles. And it's not a place I'm finding particularly comfortable.

Combine this recent discovery with the other harsh realities I've been dealing with of late:

...the sudden appearance of thin little lines at the corners of my eyes, and across my forehead, that don't go away even in the complete absence of any facial expression...

...the slow but steady erosion of whatever breastesses I once had, a sacrifice not in vain due to their nothing-short-of heroic efforts in feeding 3 children for 3 years, but a crippling blow to my self-image nonetheless...

...and the dogged insistence of my unrestrained belly to keep puffing out to its 3-month pregnant dimensions, regardless of the fact that no further pregnancies are forthcoming.

So here I am, wrinkly, both puffy and flat but in all the wrong places... and now with a gray hair.

If this is what I look like two months short of age 36, I shudder to think how the wheels will have completely fallen off the wagon some thirty years from now! Will I be a raisin with legs??


All recommendations for eye creams, hair dye, and girdles welcome in the comments section below.

Kindly take a moment and help ease my transition into OLD.


  1. I really don't know that I'm buying that you're showing the faintest hint of aging. However, I empathize with the earth-shattering discovery of all things un-taut and OLD.

    For me, it's the tiny lines around my eyes that send me into a tailspin every few months. I berate myself mercilessly (I KNEW I shouldn't have been wearing cheap, knockoff sunglasses all these years - 100% UV protection, my ass! And why am I always too gd lazy to remove my make-up at night?!) and am militant about cleansing and creams for a couple days before I settle back into my mascara-to-bed/excessive alcohol/insufficient water routine.

    Meanwhile, my giant, nursing toddler who shows zero signs of weaning is doing a real number on what my husband *used* to call "stripper tits" (RIP, STs), I have an awful, apron-like flap of flab on my belly, and my sides and thighs look like they've been clawed by a tiger. I used to console myself during pregnancy that Kate Hudson also gained 80+ lbs with Ryder, but clearly I forgot to factor in some important genetic determinants (Kate probably also doesn't regularly consume nachos and beer either, but let's stick with blaming genetics for now). It's all very disheartening.

    I say, go ahead and do whatever little tricks you want to in order to make yourself *feel* better (because, I assure you, you look fabulous to everyone else! Seriously. I'm legitimately envious.)...just PLEASE don't go Heidi Montag Pratt on us. You're beautiful just as you are.

  2. Just say "no" to plastic surgery. If you must age, then I say, "Age with grace and dignity!" (Hair color is a different matter entirely - go for it!)

  3. Since I need Botox I am voting YES in your poll just to make myself feel better. Ha ha!

  4. Oh, how I struggle with the gray hair issue. I have a ton, and I think it means people think of me as older than I am. But I was nursing, so I didn't want to put the chemicals in my bloodstream. Now I'm not, but it would be drastic for me to go dark again... and even worse than being gray, to me, is having that horrible line of roots showing up gray against my dark hair. Lots of work to keep that up. Yet, oh, how gray my once lovely hair is... so maybe... UGH.

    I console myself by reminding myself that nobody who is 90 looks 29, so if I'm going to get there, some parts are inevitably going to change along the way.

    That doesn't mean I don't own Spanx. And I might still dye my hair.

  5. Hmmmm. The first signs that tell you you're on your way to the "golden age" or most commonly called by many the "old age". When I first saw these signs, I cried so hard, but after that I just took it positively.:-) Now, I'm happy and contented with my age and life.:-)

  6. For a decade, I had my hairdresser add "lowlights" - tiny strands of my original natural color - LOTS at first - to cover the gray (mostly), but NOT look like I had dipped my head in a bucket of dark brown dye! It was virtually indistinguishable as "color", but very soft & natural-looking. I got MANY compliments on my HAIR - NOT how good my "color" looked. More recently (I am 52), I have gone completely natural - which is mostly gray. The transition was very simple, & NOT drastic - just had my beautician add a few less lowlights every other time, & in a year or so - viola! The beauty of this process, is that from month to month - the re-touch process is never harsh, & can be varied a LOT! I even had a second color added - a lighter brownish-blonde - during the summer time. I have had a few moments where I wanted to go back to getting the lowlights; if I DO ever decide to, I will start by adding just a few, & add more gradually. Our hair color is SUPPOSED to get a bit lighter as we age - keeping very dark hair looks SO bad, so HARSH. If you DO decide to do-it-yourself, make sure you go half a shade to a whole shade lighter than your natural color - it wil look better!